I took one hit and my world shattered. I lived a million lives in the span of 20 minutes or less. I had full lives, friendships, partners, jobs and whatever elements that might be present in the day to day life of any individual. What happened next was a disaster.
“It is ok, I am here now. Can you hear me?” I kept hearing this in a loop that never seemed to end. My worlds took a drop shape and I could see all of them then I started spiralling inside all of them very quickly. “It is ok, I am here now, Can you hear me?”. I started feeling there is an outer world other than the ones I was trapped in, this should be where the voice is coming from. I tried to open my eyes to see it.
When I opened my eyes I saw a girl. “Open your eyes”. I tried to keep my eyes open but they quickly shut down again and the phrase “open your eyes” went in my head in an endless loop too. I knew I needed to wake up so I started screaming, I pushed myself to stand up but the screaming was only in my head and I discovered I was completely paralyzed.
“It is ok, I am here now. Can you hear me?” I heard her saying. I started remembering the girl, she was in one of the very first worlds I lived in, but that was a million worlds ago. I struggled to remember her name and what she was to me. I asked “Is this real, is this now?” and I shut my eyes again. This time I felt peaceful, I felt maybe I will wake up if I rest and all this will be over. I felt maybe it is not too bad to dream. I felt my whole life was the trip itself and anything else is starting now. “open your eyes, open your eyes, open your eyes, open your, eyeees,zzz”
“It is ok, I am here now. Can you hear me?” I opened my eyes one more time, I heard my dog. She also was in one of the first worlds I lived in. The girl locked her up in my bedroom because she did not know how the dog would react to me like this. I woke up. I started grasping reality again but I did not know who I was, where I was and how long I have been here. I also did not know what was real anymore. Maybe this is what babies feel when they are first born to this world.
I am back to reality or whatever this version of life is; and yes, I can hear you.
On the Search for Home 