At 6 Am my mother woke me up. She pressed my arm and said “be with us, Dad is not well”.
I hurried to their bedroom and found him half seated, struggling to breathe and clinching his chest with a half fest. I realized what was happening and there was no time for an ambulance in cairo, so I ordered an uber to the closest hospital. He was suffering a level 2 heart attack.
I have never seen my father as weak and suffering that much pain. He was fighting for his life. On the exit door of the building he held me tight and said “I feel so cold”. I huged him and he cried.
The hug sent me in a place I know very well. A place where I meet my odd friend. I, simply, dissociated. I was on autopilot mood. At the moment it was not me hugging my father. I disappeared and there was a dark void wrapping itself It around a frail human who was cold and ready for to go to the place where no one returns.
My father recovered and I can still hear his shriek and feel his tear on my wet shirt.
Was I there? Was that real? At the moment, yes….
On the Search for Home 