I have spilled much ink and spent many trips with you in our discussion of human connection. And we’re no closer to understanding than we were when our trips began. I often feel as if I’m standing on one side of a wide chasm, shouting across, and wondering if the response I hear comes from …
Author Archives: BR
He Took My Rose and Broke My Heart
Her name was Rose “Warda”. Yes, this was my youngest aunt name. She was my first teacher. She taught handwriting. She had the most beautiful Arabic calligraphy I have ever seen. My hand writing is still bad. She also liked to draw and her lines were soft and beautiful. Her name was Rose “Warda”, she …
Acute Cardiac Arrest
At 6 Am my mother woke me up. She pressed my arm and said “be with us, Dad is not well”. I hurried to their bedroom and found him half seated, struggling to breathe and clinching his chest with a half fest. I realized what was happening and there was no time for an ambulance …
Death: The Ultimate Chess-master
I have always entertained the idea of playing chess against death not for any hope that I would ever win in his cruel game but just to see how many moves it can still yet play to surprise me. Of course the easiest and most used technique of death is surprise. A move where the …
Dancing on The Edge
I do not know why but I went back. The intrigue of that other world I discovered within my mind is irresistible. I have engaged in a pattern that would resemble a “weekend getaway trip” whenever I felt I need to retreat inwards. DMT is too strong for this so I shifted my recreational weekend …
Chapter 18: Peace
I loved my last dissociative/psychotic experience but I did not know what to do with it. I felt it was a premature season finale, then I got it. It was an answer I needed to stop looking back and to start looking forward. Our pasts shape us, they leave us with experiences without which we …
Chapter 17: I Have Been Waiting for You
I was tired that day. In fact I have been tired for sometime before that day too. I consumed my energy in crunching books, working over hours and practicing my guitar. This is my routine when I do not want to face something. I distract my mind into something else but the mind knows and …
Chapter 16: DCK and the Odd Friend
In this chapter I aim at explaining what I experience when I dissociate so that I can explain in the future piece a much deeper experience.
Chapter 15: The Construct
When I started writing my memories in this blog I unearthed feelings, ideas, and a wave of emotions that I probably was not ready for. However, without talking honestly about what I have been through and what I have witnessed then I would not be where I am now and who I am now. To …
◖IsSoƆi ∀ ⊥e◖
“ah ah, I see you opened the door, you thought it was fun, just playing around ha..ah ah it is dark in here, you got food?” the odd friend “You again, I thought I got rid of you” me “That light is flickering, can you see it, it bothers me… wake up we need to …
On the Search for Home 